Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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