is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
