Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize