You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
