I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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