So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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