i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
did i walk over a car last night?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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