why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
