Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
