If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Boobs are out for the taking
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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