dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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