Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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