Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize