you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
