I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize