Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize