How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
