Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
