Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
