help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
