Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
