i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
