I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
