so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
