1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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