Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
