Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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