ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
please come you make the beer taste better
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
