i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
