i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
