He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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