u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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