Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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