I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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