If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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