i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
