I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Houston, we have a blender
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize