these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
