VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
