I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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