I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize