you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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