The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
