it's not cheating when I paid for it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
