U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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