Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
