i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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