I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
