Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
