What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish you could order shots online.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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