I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
