shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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