I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
