He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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