My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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