just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
