We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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