why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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