That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
