It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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