I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
