What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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