it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
